The small Renate comes into the crowded drugstore, stops at the door and calls out: "Please three dozen condoms in different sizes"

Everything is rigid.

The druggist begins fastest: "First," he says, "don't scream so loud, secondly this is nothing for little kids and thirdly you can send your father to me father.."

But Renate is not to discourage: "First," she returns, "I have learned in school that one should speak clear and loud. Secondly this is nothing FOR little kids, it is AGAINST little kids and thirdly dad has nothing to do with it These are for Mummy, she goes tomorrow for three weeks to Mallorca!"

Two women playing golf. The one makes the tee-off - strong, fast, far - and in the middle of a group of golfers.
One of the men grabs immediately between the legs and falls over like a felled tree.
The two women to rush to help. The poor guy wallows on the ground moaning, hands still between his legs.

One kneels down and says to the injured, "I am masseuse, maybe I can help them and alleviate their suffering."

He refuses groaning.

She feels guilty for the constitution of man and pushes with gentle force his hands to side, cautiously opens his pants and begins to massage him in the genital area. His face expression shows after a short time that it's been getting better. Be her question as for his being now he replies: "Down there I feel great, but my thumb does still hurt like hell ..."

A poverty-stricken husband asks his best friend, how he best can get rid of his wife.
He told: "I bought her a car. Three weeks later she drove 180 km/h into a truck and was killed instantly."

So immediately, the husband buys a car for his wife. But six months later his wife still alive.

"What kind of car did you buy for her?", the friend asks him.
"Well, so a small Japanese", tells of the afflicted husband.

"Sure, it's not working", the friend judged.
"Buy for her a Jaguar."

One week the two look back. The (formerly) afflicted husband is pleased as punch.

"You look like it would work", says the friend.
"And how!", tells the new widower.

"A paw blow as my wife opened the garage, and she was dead..."

Son: "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa the men do not know until the day of their wedding their wives?"

Father: "My son, it is true but that happens in all countries."

There is no need to oppose the women.

You can wait that they do it by themselves!

A young woman comes to the doctor and complains of abdominal pain.

The doctor asks the woman "You undress please, so I can examine you".

After five minutes examination the doctor says: "congratulations! "You're pregnant!"
The doctor would like to fill out a form of course immediately and asks: "How is the name of your husband?"
"I'm not married..."

"All right. What is the name of your fiancée or friend?"
"I am neither engaged nor do I have a boyfriend."

The doctor is increasingly impatient. "It doesn't matter. What is the name of the father of your child?"
The woman is in turn mild surprise: "You hear. I've never been with a guy and have never consorted with a man!"

The doctor is thoughtful, turns around, rubs the hand on the chin, goes to the window and look out.

After 10 minutes the woman is getting impatient and asks: "Why you look going out the window?"

"Do know. As something like that has happened the last time, there appeared a shining star on the heaven and there came three kings. I don't want to miss that!..."

In the hall of the chief squatting three secretaries.

Says one: "Yesterday I found in the desk of the boss a condom."

Says the second: "And I got stung purely a hole."

Says the Third: "I think I feel sick ..."

A woman tells her friend: "I was the one who made my husband to be a millionaire."

Ask the friend: "Yes, and what he has been before that?"

"Billionaire."

First God created man.

Afterwards he created woman.

When he saw what he had done, he took care of the tobacco and alcohol.

A man makes a walk at a California beach and stumbles across an old lamp. He picks it up and rubs against her. A genie comes out and said: "Hello Stranger, you have a free wish."

The man thought for a while and said afterwards: "I always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I have a fear of flying and I'll get quickly seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can go?"

Laughed the genie and said, "That's impossible Think about it at the expenses. How could the bridge piers get built up on the ground of the Pacific? Think also about the quantities of steel and concrete. Maybe you'll have another wish?"

The man thought again after, and said finally: "OK, I've never understood the women. I never knew why they laugh, never knew why they cry, never knew what they want when they say something, never knew what they want when they talk, never know what can make them really happy. My wish is therefore to be able to understand women."

The genie looked for about one minute with big eyes at the man and replied: "Say, do you want two or four lanes on the bridge?"