In the morning the father knocking at the door of his son and cries, "Come on, you have to get up now!"

"But I do not want to!" says the son and pulls the blanket over his head.

When his father reminds him again: "You've go to school!"

Says the son: "I'll give you three good reasons why I do not want. First I have no desire, second I do not like the school and third nobody likes me at school."

The father responds to his son: "And I can tell you three good reasons why you have to go to school first, it is your duty, second. you are 45 years old and third you are the teacher!"

The anatomy professor to student: "What part of the human body expands when energized by eight times?"

She blushes and stammers: "The, the ..."

"False, the pupil!" replied the professor. "And you, dear young lady, I would advise not to go with too high expectations in marriage."

Hans comes satisfied from school: "Today we have made explosives!"

"And what are you doing in school tomorrow?"

"Which school?"

Four students from the University of Sydney were so good in organic chemistry that they have so far passed all their tests, examinations and practicals in this semester with the highest rating. They were so sure to provide the final exam, so they decided to go the weekend before the test to Canberra, where some friends threw a party.
They amused themselves well.

After vigorous Celebrate slept all day Sunday and did not make it until Monday morning - the day of the exam - back to Sydney.

The four students told to the professor that they had a little research in Canberra in the archives of the Australian National University. They thought that they would be back soon enough, but on the way back they had a flat tire and no jack there. It has taken a long time to find someone which has been able to help. That is the reason why they arrived only now!

The professor thought about it and then allowed them to make up for the final exam the next day.
The students were incredibly relieved and happy.
They learned through the night, and the next day they came in time for the due date for the Professor.
The professor brought each student in another room, gave them the tasks and told them they should start.

The first task brought five points.
It was something simple about a radical reaction.
"Cool", covered all four students in their separate rooms, "this will be an easy test."

Each of them wrote down the answer and turned the sheet.

There has been written: "2. task (95 points): Which tire has been flat?"

In religious education, the priest asks: "Who can tell me where does God live?"

Small Fritz reports proudly on his knowledge: "In the bathroom!"
"Why the bathroom?" the pastor asked amazed.

"Well, every morning knocks my father on the bathroom door and calls: my God, you're still there?"

The teacher to Peterchen: "Peter, which one of you stole from my apple tree apples yesterday?"

Peter: "Teacher, I can not understand anything in the last row here."

"We want to see it," the teacher says. "Come immediately to the front and sit down at my place. And then you ask me a question."

They change places.

Since Peter asks: "Teacher, who has slept with my sister yesterday?"

Replies the teacher: "Peter, you're right here behind you really does not understand ..."