"Hello, Hugo, imagine, I'll be a father."

"And why are you making such a sad face?"

"Well, I have to tell it to my wife too."

He likes it that they do it in darkness, what very frustrating for her. One day - they are fully in action - she turn on the lights in the middle and scares - her husband has a cucumber in his hand.

She: "You have used for ten years a cucumber?"

He: "Let me explain."

She: "Why, you pig, why?"

He: "Well, where as we are just in explanations: How can you explain our two children?"

A poverty-stricken husband asks his best friend, how he best can get rid of his wife.
He told: "I bought her a car. Three weeks later she drove 180 km/h into a truck and was killed instantly."

So immediately, the husband buys a car for his wife. But six months later his wife still alive.

"What kind of car did you buy for her?", the friend asks him.
"Well, so a small Japanese", tells of the afflicted husband.

"Sure, it's not working", the friend judged.
"Buy for her a Jaguar."

One week the two look back. The (formerly) afflicted husband is pleased as punch.

"You look like it would work", says the friend.
"And how!", tells the new widower.

"A paw blow as my wife opened the garage, and she was dead..."

What did God say after he created the man?

I can do it better.

Asks the son his father: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

And the father replied: "I do not know, my son I'm still paying ..."

A couple is playing golf. To their horror, a straight severed golf ball is flying through a window, which shatters into many small fragments. The couple, conscious of guilt, goes immediately to communicate to the owner of the house.

Both shout, but nobody answers. They walk into the room where the broken window and see a broken vase next to a man with a turban on his head.

"Are you the owner of the house?" asks the husband.
"No, I was locked up in 1000 years of this vase, but someone has shot this golf ball through the window, it knocked over the vase and now I am free!", the genie answered.

The husband, not stupid, and asks the same: "Oh, you're a genie!"
"Correct. I fulfill you 2 wishes. Because I am so stingy, I keep the third for me."

Okay, the husband thinks and says the same: "Super So, I want an annual income of US$ 1,000,000, tax-free!"
"Is taken. Your second wish?"

"Och ... always good food!"
"This is also done. Now my desire. I have not seen a female for 1000 years, let alone touched, let me go to bed with your wife."

The couple agrees and a few minutes later the wife and the genie are strong there, while the husband again dedicates his golf game.

"How old is your husband?" asks the Spirit.
The woman replies: "31"

"And he still believes in genies?"