Why are so many men enjoying a training on the treadmill?

In this case they have the hands free for beer and remote control.

Genesis

God created the donkey and said to him: "You are a donkey. You will constantly work from morning till night and wearing heavy things on your back. You will eat grass and be a little intelligent. You will live 50 years."
The donkey replied: "To live 50 years is much too much, give me please not more than 30 years."
And so it was.

Then God created the dog and said to him: "You're a dog. You wake on the goods of humanity, whose truly friend you will be. You will eat, what the humans are leaving for you and you'll live for 25 years."
The dog replied: "God, for living this way are 25 years is too much. Please not more than ten years."
And so it was.

Then God created the monkey and said: "You're a monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree and you act like an idiot. You're supposed to be funny, and you're supposed to live for 20 years."
The monkey said: "God, 20 years as a clown of the world to live, is too much. Please give me not more than ten years."
And so it was.

Finally, God created the man and said to him: "You're a man, the only rational creature, which will inhabit the Earth. You'll use your intelligence to make friends with the other creatures. You will dominate the Earth and live for 20 years."
The man said: "God, be Man for only 20 years is not enough. Please give me the 20 years that beaten out from the donkey, the 15 from the and the ten from the monkey."

And so, God made sure that the man lives 20 years as a man lives, marry and works for 20 years as a donkey from morning till night, and carries heavy loads. Then he will have children and live for 15 years as a dog, guarding the House and eat, which leaves the family. Then, in his old age, he lives ten years as a monkey, behaves like an idiot and amuses his grandchildren.
And so it is...

A man stands in the bedroom and is packing his suit cases.
The wife comes from grocery shopping home.

She: "What are you doing here?"
He: "I go to a tropical island, where I'll get 25 dollar for every time sex!"

The woman says: "Uhh, I like go there too, because I like to see how you can survive with 25 dollar a year!"

Meeting of two men.

One asks the other: "How did you take the separation from your wife?"

The other responds: "Now it's okay already, but the first weeks I thought that I get mad from joy!"

An inmate of the cell, busted for murder, is after 25 years in prison on the run. While he flees, he breaks into the house of a fresh married couple. It binds the husband on the solid chair and the woman on the bed. Then he bent over the woman and it seemed as if he would kiss her neck.

Suddenly, the jailbreaker got up and left the room. Immediately hopped the husband with the chair across the room and whispered to his wife: "Darling! This man hasn't seen a woman since years! I saw how he kissed you in the neck. Just do anything he says. If he wants to have sex with you, then let it happen to you and pretend as if you like it. Whatever you do, don't take him to rage! Our lives depend on it! Be strong! I love you!"

Nachdem die Frau ihren Knebel ausgespuckt hat, flüsterte die Halbnackte: "Schatz, ich bin so froh, dass du so darüber denkst. Du hast recht, er hat seit Jahren keine Frau gesehen. Aber er hat nicht meinen Nacken geküsst, er hat mir ins Ohr geflüstert. Er meint, dass du ziemlich niedlich wärst und er hat mich gefragt, wo ich die Vaseline im Bad aufbewahren würde. Sei stark! Ich liebe dich auch!"

After the woman spat out her gag, she whispered: "Honey, I'm so glad that you think about it. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman since years. But he did not kiss my neck, he whispered in my ear. He thinks you're pretty cute and he asked me where I would keep in the bathroom Vaseline. Be strong! I love you too!"

"Man, you're sharp," she sighs wearily after a hot night.

"I bet you have every night a different one."

"But no," he fends off modestly. "I'm very picky. I just stand on women who are intelligent and with whom I can converse well. About politics, art, psychology, ballet."

"And what has impressed you to me?"

He takes a quick look and says, "Clearly, your tits"

A man is sitting in a bar and has a glass standing in front of him.

A friend comes in, takes the glass without asking and tilts the contents down.

Since incensed the first: "What is this really? What have I done? I have now really a totally shitty day behind me. At work, I'm kicked out, on the way home I've built an accident, total damage. I have catched my wife with my best friend in bed, my son has raided a bank and has been caught and my daughter is pregnant and do not know by whom. And then you come along and drink my poison ..."

Herbert said to his neighbor: "I have no luck with the women."

"Yes, I know, your first ran away from you."

"True, but what is more worse, the second stayed!"

The judge to the husband: "Your wife forgives and wants to try it again with you."

The man sighs and says: "Well, I accept the penalty."

After a bar tour two friends decide to take a last drink in the apartment.

In front of the door the one says: "Please be silent because my wife sleeps already".

Quietly they are entering the apartment. One goes into the kitchen and the other one takes a look into the bedroom.

Horrified, he goes into the kitchen and says: "Your wife is lying with another man in the bed!"

"Please be quiet, we have only two beers."