by Rudolf Faix
Tuesday, November 3, 2015 3:00 PM
The students of the second school year receive a worksheet. They circling all for which they are thankful.
Family members - father, mother, brother, sister - were also listed.
As students begin a girl is whispering with her neighbor: "For my brother, I can not be thankful. I do not have one."
"Make a circle," replied the friend, "you should be thankful for it! ..."
by Rudolf Faix
Sunday, November 1, 2015 11:00 AM
The phone rings, a small boy picks up the phone and whispers: "Hello?"
Says a man: "I would like to talk your parents."
It whispers the boy: "That's just not possible they are in the bedroom."
The man: "Then I'll call later on again."
An hour later the phone rings again, the boy goes back to it, whispering: "Hello?"
The man: "It's me again, can I speak now your parents?"
The boy whispers, "You cannot do that, they are in the bathroom!"
The man says he'll call again later on.
Half an hour later, the phone rings, the boy answers it: "Hello?"
It is again the man who wants to talk to his parents again.
The boy whispered: "This is currently not possible. They are in the basement!"
Then the man shouts in exasperation: "Yes, damn it, what are they doing there?"
It whispers the boy: "They are searching for me!"
7a42098a-c254-48f6-81d6-b2fd9d3aee72|0|.0|27604f05-86ad-47ef-9e05-950bb762570c
Tags: Boy, Parents, Phone
Kids
by Rudolf Faix
Sunday, November 1, 2015 1:00 AM
The family sits at the St. Nicholas day at the dinner table.
Little Fritz says: "Have you heard? Santa Claus has sent a letter to all virgins in our city."
His big sister asks: 'So? What was written in it?"
"Why," asks little Fritz, "did you not get one?"
by Rudolf Faix
Wednesday, October 28, 2015 4:26 AM
Hans comes satisfied from school: "Today we have made explosives!"
"And what are you doing in school tomorrow?"
"Which school?"
by Rudolf Faix
Wednesday, October 28, 2015 3:00 AM
The little Fritz needs money, so he has to come up with something again.
He sees Grandpa who is working at the garden. "Grandpa, you give me 5 Dollar, if I hit this earthworm like a nail in the ground?"
"Such a thing does not work. But if you can make it, I'll give you the money!"
Fritz runs and fetches hairspray, sprayed the earthworm until the worm is stiff and hits him like a nail into the soil.
Since Grandpa had no money with him, he put him off until tomorrow. The next day grandpa gives him 10 Dollar.
"But that's too much! I only get half!"
"This already fits that way. The other 5 Dollar are from grandma!"
by Rudolf Faix
Monday, October 26, 2015 8:57 AM
In religious education, the priest asks: "Who can tell me where does God live?"
Small Fritz reports proudly on his knowledge: "In the bathroom!"
"Why the bathroom?" the pastor asked amazed.
"Well, every morning knocks my father on the bathroom door and calls: my God, you're still there?"
by Rudolf Faix
Monday, October 26, 2015 5:39 AM
The small Renate comes into the crowded drugstore, stops at the door and calls out: "Please three dozen condoms in different sizes"
Everything is rigid.
The druggist begins fastest: "First," he says, "don't scream so loud, secondly this is nothing for little kids and thirdly you can send your father to me father.."
But Renate is not to discourage: "First," she returns, "I have learned in school that one should speak clear and loud. Secondly this is nothing FOR little kids, it is AGAINST little kids and thirdly dad has nothing to do with it These are for Mummy, she goes tomorrow for three weeks to Mallorca!"
by Rudolf Faix
Monday, October 26, 2015 3:57 AM
The little boy to his father: "I do not want toys, I want a real Colt!"
"You get a child Colt!"
"But I want a real!"
"Stop it, who commands here? Me or you?"
"At the moment you ... but if I had a Colt ..."
1041c34a-a8d1-4ce0-a908-144dc9533d65|0|.0|27604f05-86ad-47ef-9e05-950bb762570c
Tags: Boy, Father, Colt
Kids
by Rudolf Faix
Sunday, October 25, 2015 4:46 PM
Two three-year boys are playing in the sandbox. Suddenly one kicks his legs crosswise and looks as if he needs every moment to pee.
His playmate noticed that and asks: "What is with you?"
"I need to pee!"
"Then let it go, we have Pampers."
"Yes, but my mom said she will cut off my tail when I'm doing it again into the pants."
The other thinks for a moment and then said: "Yesterday I watched my older sister while showering. When this is done well, it looks not so bad!"
by Rudolf Faix
Sunday, October 25, 2015 12:56 PM
A brief political training ...
The little son goes to his father and asks him if he could explain to him what politics is.
The father says: Of course, I can tell you that. Take, for example or our family. I bring the money home, so let's call me the capitalism. Your mother manages the money, so let's call her the government. We both almost take exclusively care to your health, so you and your little broter are the folk. Our maid is the working class and your little brother, who is still in diapers, is the future. Did you understand that?"
The little son is not sure and want to get some sleep over it. At night he wakes up, because his younger brother has made to the diapers and screams. He gets up and knocks on the parents bedroom, but his mother is in deep sleep and does not wake up. So he goes to the maid and finds his father in bed with her. But the two do not interfere by his repeated knocking. So he goes back to bed and continues sleeping.
In the morning the father asks him if he knows what politics would be and if he can explain it in his own words.
The son replied: "Yes, now I know the capitalism abused the working class while the government is asleep, the folk will get totally ignored and the future is full of shit..!"