The American: When our females riding a horse, they can walk with their feet at the same time - but not because the horse would be as small or has short legs. It is because our women have sooo extremely beautiful long legs!

The Frenchman: Nice! If we keep our women around the waist, we can put both thumbs forward and both index fingers together but it is not that we have so long fingers. The reason is that our women have sooo extremely slim waists!

The Italian: That's quite nice! But if we give to our women a pat on the butt before we go to work, the butt is still shaking when we come back from work. But not because of our women have so fat ass, the fact is that we have sooo short working hours!

A notorious miser is calling his doctor, his lawyer and the parish priest to the deathbed.

"I decided to take my money to the grave", he says and gives each of them a thick envelope, "throw these envelopes at my funeral into my coffin."

Two weeks later, at the funeral, the three men are throwing the entrusted envelopes into the grave.

A few days later the priest confesses that he had diverted 50,000 dollars for the church renovation.

It also facilitates the physician's conscience and he admits that he has taken from the envelope 100,000 dollars for medical devices.

Then the lawyer: "Gentlemen, what have you done is embezzlement. You should be ashamed. I gave the money to an escrow account managed by me and placed into the envelope a check for the full amount ..."

A camel rider rides sweaty in the desert.

Suddenly he gets overtaken by an insanely quick flash.
Grade yet, he can see that it's been a cyclist.

Later at a bar, he meets the cyclists and asks him how he can go so fast.

He replies: "I'm going as fast as I can, then the wind comes towards me, which cools me down and this way I can continue so on."

The camel rider thinks to himself: "Cool, that I must try also."

Then he takes his camel, riding as fast as he can and all of a sudden his camel falls down dead.

He then: "Oops, I think now my camel got frozen!"

Count Dracula is with a friend on a boring Halloween party.

Since his friend said to him: "I fly just going time to get me something to drink!"
He immediately jumps out the window and come back after five minutes with a bloodied face.

"Well, that was fast!" Dracula says admiringly at his friend.
"How did you do it just as quickly?"

"Can you see from here the lamppost down there?"
"Yes, of course," says Dracula.

"But not me!"

"Shall I bring your lunch to the cabin?" asks the steward the seasick passenger.

"Or should I throw it immediately overboard?"

A settlers moved to northern Canada and prepares himself for the winter. As he is so good things at chopping wood, an Indian riding along.
"Hey Indian", the settlers asks, "how the next winter will probably be?"
"Winter are cold," replies the Indian with serious mine.

Because thinking about the settlers and thinks to himself: well, a couple more chopped logs wouldn't hurt. Up here in the north, the winters are definitely hard.

As he continues with his work the Indian come over again.
"Hey Winnetou, say it honest, how hard will be the winter?"
"Winter will be very, very hard!" tells of the Indian and moves on.

"Oh God!", thinks of the settlers with horror, "that is determined a particularly harsh winter this year".
And so he chops, he chops through the whole night like a possessed man.

As he soaked in sweat and surrounded by wood logs he still chops the next morning.
Rides the Indian again along and says with worried mine says: "It will be the hardest winter since time immemorial, Hough!"
"Damn it, red skin, how do you want to know this?", the settler screams at the end of his tether.

"Ancient Indian wisdom: If white men chops a lot wood, winter are very cold!"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good dinner and a bottle of wine they lay down in their tent for sleeping.

Hours later woke Holmes and woke his friend. "Watson, look at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson looked up and replied: ". I see millions of stars"

"And what does that tell you?" asked Holmes.

Watson pondered briefly and said: "Astronomically, this means that out there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions planets Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in the zodiac sign of Leo Logically, I conclude that there is approximately a quarter past three Theologically is... this mean that God is all powerful and that we are all small and unimportant. Meteorological I suspect that good weather will be tomorrow. Why what it tells you? "

Holmes looked at him briefly and said: "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

A rocker comes in a restaurant and looks around for a seat.

He sees an old man sitting before a bowl of soup, but the man doesn't eat his soup.

The rocker thinks: "That's a shame. The soup is cold. And I'm hungry. If I eat this soup, I don't need to wait for the service and I have to pay for it." He sits down to the old mans table, takes the soup and starts to eat. The old man shows no reaction.

The rocker has almost finished eaten the soup, as a comb is full with hair revealed.

The rocker vomits the soup immediately back into the plate.

Now the old man responded: "That's funny. You came just as much as I ..."

A Swiss, an Englishman and an American capture a boy in the forest, which they tie to a tree. On the head, they put an Apple and refrain 30 steps.

First, the Swiss pulls out his crossbow and is aimed at the Apple.
The arrow tip pierced the Apple. With a mighty voice he boasts: "I'm Wilhelm Tell!".

The Englishman finished the same with his bow and arrow and calls: "I'm Robin Hood!"

Now the Americans emerges and the spans. He however missed the Apple and meets in the middle of the forehead of the boy. To do this he says shrugging: "I'm sorry!"

A young girl has been running out of gas in the Prairie. An Indian takes her back on his horse. Every few minutes the rider encounters a wild scream. Finally, he sets off the girl at a gas station and rided away with a wild last scream.

"What have you done?", asks her the attendant.

"Nothing," answered the girl, "I have sat behind him and held me to the saddle horn."

"My dear child, Indian riding bareback..."