Four clergymen are after work sitting together

by Rudolf Faix Tuesday, November 3, 2015 11:00 PM

Four clergymen are after work sitting together.

"You know," says one, "we're really good friends. Perhaps we take this opportunity once again to speak about our problems."
All nod in agreement.

"Let me confide in you that I drink too much.", admits the first.
The other three sigh.

The second: "Since you, dear brother, are so honestly to us, I dare to confess that I indulging the passion for gambling. I was even haunted the desire to take money from the poor box.."
Again sigh the other three.

"Dear brothers, I am totally messed up, I have taken affection for a woman in my community - and she is even married.", the third says.
The other three sigh again.

Finally, the fourth should also express his biggest problem, but he still resists. The other three are talking to him well: "Don't worry. Your problem is in good hands with us We are concealed and do not tell it to anyone."

"Yeah, well, I do not know how to say it, but my problem is: I am a terrible gossiper and can not keep a secret for me ..."


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An atheist goes to hell

by Rudolf Faix Tuesday, November 3, 2015 1:00 PM

An atheist goes to hell.

He wonders. Everything beautiful. Beach, Sun, sea, bars, beautiful girl.

The devil greets him: "Welcome!"

The atheist is puzzled and strolls along the beach. There, he discovered a deep hole in the ground. Blazing flames burn screaming people.
Pure agony.

Horrified, he runs back to the devil and asks him what has to mean the hole and if he must also go in there.

The devil says: "No, my friend. The hole is only for Christians, who want it so!"


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Shortly before the start of the hurricane season in 1998 ...

by Rudolf Faix Monday, November 2, 2015 3:00 PM

Shortly before the start of the hurricane season in 1998 the famous American televangelist Pat Robertson called the citizens and rulers of the city Orlando in Florida, not to support this year's gay festival "Gay Days" because these immoral gays are seducing innocent people. God would outright asked to haunt the city with hurricanes and tornadoes.

Ironically, the first hurricane of the year devastated the headquarter of the preacher in Virginia Beach.


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A special group of Christians has tried ...

by Rudolf Faix Monday, November 2, 2015 1:00 PM

A special group of Christians has tried to enter in the truest sense of the word in the footsteps of the founder of their religion. Day by day the group, based in Los Angeles, undertook ever greater efforts to emulate her idol, by trying to learn the art of "walking on water". Christians have continued their unorthodox practices until their leader one day unexpectedly died during training in his bathtub.

His wife testified that her husband had spent many hours perfecting his running technique, without however so far have mastered the task. Obviously, he drowned after he slipped on a bar of soap.


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Church | People


by Rudolf Faix Monday, November 2, 2015 11:00 AM


God created the donkey and said to him: "You are a donkey. You will constantly work from morning till night and wearing heavy things on your back. You will eat grass and be a little intelligent. You will live 50 years."
The donkey replied: "To live 50 years is much too much, give me please not more than 30 years."
And so it was.

Then God created the dog and said to him: "You're a dog. You wake on the goods of humanity, whose truly friend you will be. You will eat, what the humans are leaving for you and you'll live for 25 years."
The dog replied: "God, for living this way are 25 years is too much. Please not more than ten years."
And so it was.

Then God created the monkey and said: "You're a monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree and you act like an idiot. You're supposed to be funny, and you're supposed to live for 20 years."
The monkey said: "God, 20 years as a clown of the world to live, is too much. Please give me not more than ten years."
And so it was.

Finally, God created the man and said to him: "You're a man, the only rational creature, which will inhabit the Earth. You'll use your intelligence to make friends with the other creatures. You will dominate the Earth and live for 20 years."
The man said: "God, be Man for only 20 years is not enough. Please give me the 20 years that beaten out from the donkey, the 15 from the and the ten from the monkey."

And so, God made sure that the man lives 20 years as a man lives, marry and works for 20 years as a donkey from morning till night, and carries heavy loads. Then he will have children and live for 15 years as a dog, guarding the House and eat, which leaves the family. Then, in his old age, he lives ten years as a monkey, behaves like an idiot and amuses his grandchildren.
And so it is...


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Animals | Church | Men

Two pastors are meeting each other

by Rudolf Faix Friday, October 30, 2015 5:00 PM

Meeting of two pastors.

"My bicycle has been stolen yesterday", one complains.

The other: "watch out! If you stand on the pulpit next Sunday, simply preach the ten commandments! "When you say: 'You shall not steal', you need only to see who flinches from the community."

Both meet next Monday.

"Well, it worked?", one wants to know.
"Already, but differently than you had thought. Because before 'You shall not steal' is indeed 'Thou shalt not commit adultery' and then I remembered where I have left my bike."


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A rabbi is annoyed ...

by Rudolf Faix Tuesday, October 27, 2015 3:28 PM

A rabbi is annoyed that many of the faithfuls are coming without a cap in the synagogue.

So he wrote at the entrance: "Entering the synagogue bareheaded is an with adultery comparable offense!"

The next day is written under it: "Have tried both - No comparison!"


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God and Peter are playing golf

by Rudolf Faix Tuesday, October 27, 2015 1:41 PM

God and Peter are playing golf.

God distorts his tee shot and the ball rolls towards to the bunker.

At the moment comes a mouse grabs the golf ball, then a cat cat catches the mouse, then comes an eagle and grabs the cat and swings with her into the air, afterwards a flash strikes in the Eagle with the cat, mouse and the golf ball.
The golf ball falls exactly into the hole.

Says Peter: "What is now? Are we playing golf or are we fooling around?"


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Church | Golf

A priest went to a colleague ...

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 5:18 AM

A priest went to a colleague and said: "I have sinned and I want to confess to you"

The priest-colleague was taken aback, but then says: "Yes, I'll do it, tell."

"I have a young widow called upon to comfort her. She suddenly wanted sex from me, but I refused. Then she retired and wanted to seduce me with their nakedness. But I remained steadfast and left the house. I have now a guilty conscience, because I've seen her naked. I should leave the house before! "

The colleague said, shaking his head: "For these sins I have to punish you. You have to drink 20 liters of water."

The repentant sinners asked why he should drink as much water, go it not less.

"No," said the priest-colleague, "This is the daily ration of a donkey ...."


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What nationality were Adam and Eve?

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 4:49 AM

What nationality were Adam and Eve?

Of course they were Russians:

  • They had nothing to wear
  • They had no home
  • And they believed to be in paradise.


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