A man stands in the bedroom and is packing his suit cases.
The wife comes from grocery shopping home.

She: "What are you doing here?"
He: "I go to a tropical island, where I'll get 25 dollar for every time sex!"

The woman says: "Uhh, I like go there too, because I like to see how you can survive with 25 dollar a year!"

The family sits at the St. Nicholas day at the dinner table.

Little Fritz says: "Have you heard? Santa Claus has sent a letter to all virgins in our city."

His big sister asks: 'So? What was written in it?"

"Why," asks little Fritz, "did you not get one?"

Man: "I don't know why you wear a bra. You have nothing, what you could do inside."

Woman: "You're wearing panties too, or?"

A couple in the evening in the living room. He reads the newspaper.

She: "Dear, our faucet in the kitchen is dripping, can you take a look at it?"
He: "I'm not a plumber!"

The next evening, the couple is back in the living room, he reads his newspaper as usual.

She: "Dear ... look at the ceiling, the plaster is crumbling, can you fix it?"
He: "I'm not a plasterer!"

The next day is it for the wife too colorful.

She calls her friend and tells him the problems.

He immediately comes and repaired the faucet and the ceiling.

In the evening when the husband reads the newspaper again, the wife says proudly: "Dear take a look, the faucet does not drip any more and from the ceiling is no more crumbling plaster."

He: "Who has made the repairs? It has surely cost a lot of money ..?"
She: "No, no, that got repaired by an acquaintance. He wanted as payment either that I bake him a cake or have sex with him ..."

He: "Yes, and you have baked him a cake?"
She: "I'm not a baker ..."

Meeting of two men.

One asks the other: "How did you take the separation from your wife?"

The other responds: "Now it's okay already, but the first weeks I thought that I get mad from joy!"

Eva yells Adam: "You always disagrees with me!"

Adam: "Luckily, otherwise we would be both wrong."

He likes it that they do it in darkness, what very frustrating for her. One day - they are fully in action - she turn on the lights in the middle and scares - her husband has a cucumber in his hand.

She: "You have used for ten years a cucumber?"

He: "Let me explain."

She: "Why, you pig, why?"

He: "Well, where as we are just in explanations: How can you explain our two children?"

He: "Do you like to be my wife?"

She: "Can you think of anything better?"

He: "Yes, but they all do not want too."

A poverty-stricken husband asks his best friend, how he best can get rid of his wife.
He told: "I bought her a car. Three weeks later she drove 180 km/h into a truck and was killed instantly."

So immediately, the husband buys a car for his wife. But six months later his wife still alive.

"What kind of car did you buy for her?", the friend asks him.
"Well, so a small Japanese", tells of the afflicted husband.

"Sure, it's not working", the friend judged.
"Buy for her a Jaguar."

One week the two look back. The (formerly) afflicted husband is pleased as punch.

"You look like it would work", says the friend.
"And how!", tells the new widower.

"A paw blow as my wife opened the garage, and she was dead..."

Son: "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa the men do not know until the day of their wedding their wives?"

Father: "My son, it is true but that happens in all countries."