The American: When our females riding a horse, they can walk with their feet at the same time - but not because the horse would be as small or has short legs. It is because our women have sooo extremely beautiful long legs!

The Frenchman: Nice! If we keep our women around the waist, we can put both thumbs forward and both index fingers together but it is not that we have so long fingers. The reason is that our women have sooo extremely slim waists!

The Italian: That's quite nice! But if we give to our women a pat on the butt before we go to work, the butt is still shaking when we come back from work. But not because of our women have so fat ass, the fact is that we have sooo short working hours!

The woman is sitting at the lawyer and says shy: "I want a divorce."

"Yes, says the lawyer. And the grounds for divorce?"
"Oh, my husband is 200% impotent."

"You mean totally impotent," corrected the lawyer.
"No, I mean 200 percent."

"Yes, how do you mean that?" asks the lawyer.
"I mean that he was already totally impotent. But yesterday he tripped over the carpet and has bitten off his tongue."

Herbert said to his neighbor: "I have no luck with the women."

"Yes, I know, your first ran away from you."

"True, but what is more worse, the second stayed!"

Two women playing golf. The one makes the tee-off - strong, fast, far - and in the middle of a group of golfers.
One of the men grabs immediately between the legs and falls over like a felled tree.
The two women to rush to help. The poor guy wallows on the ground moaning, hands still between his legs.

One kneels down and says to the injured, "I am masseuse, maybe I can help them and alleviate their suffering."

He refuses groaning.

She feels guilty for the constitution of man and pushes with gentle force his hands to side, cautiously opens his pants and begins to massage him in the genital area. His face expression shows after a short time that it's been getting better. Be her question as for his being now he replies: "Down there I feel great, but my thumb does still hurt like hell ..."

There is no need to oppose the women.

You can wait that they do it by themselves!

A woman tells her friend: "I was the one who made my husband to be a millionaire."

Ask the friend: "Yes, and what he has been before that?"

"Billionaire."

A man makes a walk at a California beach and stumbles across an old lamp. He picks it up and rubs against her. A genie comes out and said: "Hello Stranger, you have a free wish."

The man thought for a while and said afterwards: "I always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I have a fear of flying and I'll get quickly seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can go?"

Laughed the genie and said, "That's impossible Think about it at the expenses. How could the bridge piers get built up on the ground of the Pacific? Think also about the quantities of steel and concrete. Maybe you'll have another wish?"

The man thought again after, and said finally: "OK, I've never understood the women. I never knew why they laugh, never knew why they cry, never knew what they want when they say something, never knew what they want when they talk, never know what can make them really happy. My wish is therefore to be able to understand women."

The genie looked for about one minute with big eyes at the man and replied: "Say, do you want two or four lanes on the bridge?"

Three women are passing the lawn in front of the tennis court.

There is a naked man laying who has only covered his face with a towel.

The first woman: "I just meant that it is my husband!"

The second woman: "No, with guarantee it is not your husband!"

The third woman: "He is not a member of the Tennis Club!"