A notorious miser is calling his doctor, his lawyer and the parish priest to the deathbed.

"I decided to take my money to the grave", he says and gives each of them a thick envelope, "throw these envelopes at my funeral into my coffin."

Two weeks later, at the funeral, the three men are throwing the entrusted envelopes into the grave.

A few days later the priest confesses that he had diverted 50,000 dollars for the church renovation.

It also facilitates the physician's conscience and he admits that he has taken from the envelope 100,000 dollars for medical devices.

Then the lawyer: "Gentlemen, what have you done is embezzlement. You should be ashamed. I gave the money to an escrow account managed by me and placed into the envelope a check for the full amount ..."

In religious education, the priest asks: "Who can tell me where does God live?"

Small Fritz reports proudly on his knowledge: "In the bathroom!"
"Why the bathroom?" the pastor asked amazed.

"Well, every morning knocks my father on the bathroom door and calls: my God, you're still there?"

A priest went to a colleague and said: "I have sinned and I want to confess to you"

The priest-colleague was taken aback, but then says: "Yes, I'll do it, tell."

"I have a young widow called upon to comfort her. She suddenly wanted sex from me, but I refused. Then she retired and wanted to seduce me with their nakedness. But I remained steadfast and left the house. I have now a guilty conscience, because I've seen her naked. I should leave the house before! "

The colleague said, shaking his head: "For these sins I have to punish you. You have to drink 20 liters of water."

The repentant sinners asked why he should drink as much water, go it not less.

"No," said the priest-colleague, "This is the daily ration of a donkey ...."

A football player goes to church and asked the priest: "Tell me, is actually played football in heaven?"
Says the priest: "Come back in a week, I'll ask after!"

A week later the footballer comes back and asks again.
Says the priest: "So, there is a good news and bad news What they want to hear first?"
The footballers: "The good one!"

The priest: "In heaven is actually played football."
The footballers: "And what is the bad news?"

The priest: "You are planned for the next home match!"