Two motorcycle riders, Toni and Gerd, rush at a desert rally through the sand. When they discover a bush along the way, they stop to pee. All of a sudden a snake shoots out and bites Toni in his best piece. Pale it sinks into the sand, Gerd brings the radio rapidly and spark the doctor for help.

The doctor asks: "What color was the Snake?"
Gerd to Toni: "The doctor asks after the color of the serpent!"
Toni moans back: "Black with red patterns."
Gerd Sparks's by the doctor.

The doctor responds: "The Snake is very poisonous!"
Toni asks pressed: "What the doctor said?"
Gerd hesitantly: "The doctor says the Snake is very toxic."
Toni desperate: "Ask him what we can do."

Gerd sparks the question what to do is the doctor.
The doctor: "The bite site opens with the knife a little bit"
Gerd propagates the information and Toni, already quite weak performs the very painful cuts. He is very pale and struggling for air.
Gerd sparks back to the doctor: "What is to do now?"
Doctor: "You must suck now at the bite site!"
Toni gasps: "What the doctor said?"

Gerd slowly: "The doctor says you have to die..."

A man is sitting in a bar and has a glass standing in front of him.

A friend comes in, takes the glass without asking and tilts the contents down.

Since incensed the first: "What is this really? What have I done? I have now really a totally shitty day behind me. At work, I'm kicked out, on the way home I've built an accident, total damage. I have catched my wife with my best friend in bed, my son has raided a bank and has been caught and my daughter is pregnant and do not know by whom. And then you come along and drink my poison ..."

A poverty-stricken husband asks his best friend, how he best can get rid of his wife.
He told: "I bought her a car. Three weeks later she drove 180 km/h into a truck and was killed instantly."

So immediately, the husband buys a car for his wife. But six months later his wife still alive.

"What kind of car did you buy for her?", the friend asks him.
"Well, so a small Japanese", tells of the afflicted husband.

"Sure, it's not working", the friend judged.
"Buy for her a Jaguar."

One week the two look back. The (formerly) afflicted husband is pleased as punch.

"You look like it would work", says the friend.
"And how!", tells the new widower.

"A paw blow as my wife opened the garage, and she was dead..."