A drunken slurs at the bar ...

by Rudolf Faix Tuesday, November 3, 2015 11:00 AM

A drunken slurs at the bar to the bartender: "I was just unlucky in marriage. Twice I was married - my first wife died of mushroom poisoning, and my second to a fractured skull ...."

"That's horrible! How did that happen with your second wife?"

"She did not like to eat the mushrooms ..."

 

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Relationships

A Scotsman comes from the pub ...

by Rudolf Faix Monday, November 2, 2015 1:00 AM

A Scotsman comes from the pub, completely drunk. On the way home, he falls into the ditch and falls immediately asleep.

The next morning, two tourists come by and want to solve the mystery of the kilts. They like what they get to see and therefore they fix a pink bow tie on it.

As the Scotsman arrives then finally back and undresses his wife gets indignant at the sight of the bow tie. "DARLING, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" cries his wife.

He looks down on itself and says "I don't know, but I think I won first price."

 

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Scots

A man and a woman get to know at the nightclub

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 2:16 AM

A man and a woman get to know at the nightclub, flirting with each other violently and after 1 hour everything is clear. The two go home together and there is then done violently.

Thereupon the woman says to the man: Look, I'll go briefly into the bathroom.
The woman is in the bathroom and noticed that they scored their day and think: "Shit, what do I do now"
Then says to herself: "He will not notices that, because he is too much drunk!" and goes back to the bedroom. They then moved through the night.

The next morning the man wakes up and the woman is gone. He has a heavy head and can not remember the last night. All he knows is that he has taken a woman home. He looks beside him under the duvet and sees a huge pool of blood!!!
"What the fuck did I do last night?"

He gets up and rushes to his first gun cabinet. He controls all the weapons, noting: "I did not shot her"
Then he runs into the kitchen and checked his knife block. The blades are all complete and it did not stick any blood on it. He notes: "I did not stabbed her too!"

After that he no longer knows on and goes into the bathroom first. He looks in the mirror and is in panic firmly: "I HAVE EATEN HER!!!!"

 

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