Meeting of two men.

One asks the other: "How did you take the separation from your wife?"

The other responds: "Now it's okay already, but the first weeks I thought that I get mad from joy!"

Two birds sitting on a wall.
A jet plane passes.

As a bird says: "Wow, this one flies fast!"

The other says: "When your butt burns, you would fly so fast too."

A Scot comes with a vial to the doctor to get it examined.

A week later, he learns the result: "All right," says the doctor, "you are healthy perfectly."

Cheerful the Scot goes home and calls his wife: "Sharon, neither you, nor I, neither the children nor Uncle Mac have any disease!"

After my fiancee and I know each other for a year, we decided to get married next month.

The mother of my fiancée, my future mother-in-law is awesome (and also super sexy).

She took care to everything: ceremony, church, dinner, flowers, photographer etc.

Last night she called me. I should come with her to once again go through the list of guests, and to remove a few names of people in my family, since we have invited too many people.

I went there then, and we went through the list. Finally, we have agreed on 150 guests. At one time I was stunned when she said to me, I was a very attractive man. In a month I would be married and would then no longer be possible, so wish it is nothing anderesals with me to sleep now. She stood up and went to full of sensuality on the bedroom. She me whispered to another, I knew very well where the front door was, if I wanted to go. I stopped pinned down for almost 3 minutes. And then I knew which way I would go.

I ran to the front door, went out and found my future father in law smiling standing at my car. I think he said something like: "We wanted to test you to be sure that our beloved daughter marries a venerable and honest man. I would have passed this test."

He kissed me without that I could say a word, and congratulated me.

PS: Luckily, I had my condoms in the car and not in the pocket.

In the morning the father knocking at the door of his son and cries, "Come on, you have to get up now!"

"But I do not want to!" says the son and pulls the blanket over his head.

When his father reminds him again: "You've go to school!"

Says the son: "I'll give you three good reasons why I do not want. First I have no desire, second I do not like the school and third nobody likes me at school."

The father responds to his son: "And I can tell you three good reasons why you have to go to school first, it is your duty, second. you are 45 years old and third you are the teacher!"

Big relocation of the tax office!

All officials wear 2 folder into the new government offices. Only Miller carries always only one folder.

As it sees the head of the tax office, he asks Miller about it.

Without thinking Miller responded: "Is it my fault if the others are too lazy to run twice"?

How do you get an official to sweat?

Put his pencil on the window sill.

What's officials jogging?

In sum 100 meters (328 ft.) during 25 years of service.

Gets an official visit to his office.

Says the visitor: "You have a lot of flies here!"

The official: "Yes, exactly 317 ..."

There has been the story of the preppy in suit dressed user who bought a computer at the computer shop.

After he presented his (non-existent) knowledge to the public he bought an office computer with the words "times to write letters" for after all, stately 750 Dollars.

He appeared after a week again with the tower under his arm, yelling for the store manager. His opinion is that he got betrayed and the store sold manure, poor quality etc.

After the store manager had appeared, he asked for the cause.

The man pointed to the (strangely dirty) Tower and said the electric coffee cup holders (CD/DVD drive) got broken at the first use ...