A priest went to a colleague ...

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 5:18 AM

A priest went to a colleague and said: "I have sinned and I want to confess to you"

The priest-colleague was taken aback, but then says: "Yes, I'll do it, tell."

"I have a young widow called upon to comfort her. She suddenly wanted sex from me, but I refused. Then she retired and wanted to seduce me with their nakedness. But I remained steadfast and left the house. I have now a guilty conscience, because I've seen her naked. I should leave the house before! "

The colleague said, shaking his head: "For these sins I have to punish you. You have to drink 20 liters of water."

The repentant sinners asked why he should drink as much water, go it not less.

"No," said the priest-colleague, "This is the daily ration of a donkey ...."

 

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Church

What nationality were Adam and Eve?

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 4:49 AM

What nationality were Adam and Eve?

Of course they were Russians:

  • They had nothing to wear
  • They had no home
  • And they believed to be in paradise.

 

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Church

A poverty-stricken husband asks his best friend ...

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 4:44 AM

A poverty-stricken husband asks his best friend, how he best can get rid of his wife.
He told: "I bought her a car. Three weeks later she drove 180 km/h into a truck and was killed instantly."

So immediately, the husband buys a car for his wife. But six months later his wife still alive.

"What kind of car did you buy for her?", the friend asks him.
"Well, so a small Japanese", tells of the afflicted husband.

"Sure, it's not working", the friend judged.
"Buy for her a Jaguar."

One week the two look back. The (formerly) afflicted husband is pleased as punch.

"You look like it would work", says the friend.
"And how!", tells the new widower.

"A paw blow as my wife opened the garage, and she was dead..."

 

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Battle of the Sexes | Men | Relationships | Women

Son: "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa ...

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 4:34 AM

Son: "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa the men do not know until the day of their wedding their wives?"

Father: "My son, it is true but that happens in all countries."

 

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Battle of the Sexes | Relationships | Women

There is no need to oppose the women

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 4:29 AM

There is no need to oppose the women.

You can wait that they do it by themselves!

 

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Battle of the Sexes | Women

A young woman comes to the doctor and complains of abdominal pain

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 4:26 AM

A young woman comes to the doctor and complains of abdominal pain.

The doctor asks the woman "You undress please, so I can examine you".

After five minutes examination the doctor says: "congratulations! "You're pregnant!"
The doctor would like to fill out a form of course immediately and asks: "How is the name of your husband?"
"I'm not married..."

"All right. What is the name of your fiancée or friend?"
"I am neither engaged nor do I have a boyfriend."

The doctor is increasingly impatient. "It doesn't matter. What is the name of the father of your child?"
The woman is in turn mild surprise: "You hear. I've never been with a guy and have never consorted with a man!"

The doctor is thoughtful, turns around, rubs the hand on the chin, goes to the window and look out.

After 10 minutes the woman is getting impatient and asks: "Why you look going out the window?"

"Do know. As something like that has happened the last time, there appeared a shining star on the heaven and there came three kings. I don't want to miss that!..."

 

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Doctors | Women

The doctor asks his patients to the treatment room

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 4:11 AM

The doctor asks his patients to the treatment room and says: "I have a good and bad news for you."

The patient says: "OK then they say only the good me."

The doctor says: "A disease is named after you soon."

 

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Doctors

A husband brings his pregnant wife to the hospital

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 4:07 AM

A husband brings his pregnant wife to the hospital because it's time.

The doctor says there is a new system that allows the husband to take the pain of women in childbirth.
The spouses agree to the trial and the birth starts.

The doctor provides the scale to 10%, so that the husband takes over 10% of the pain.

The husband says he is doing well, so that the doctor revs up to 30%.

The husband still feels good, so the doctor increased to 50%.

The husband is doing well and then tells the doctor that he should be increased to 100%, which he does.

The husband still feels very good, the child is born and the woman had not really pain.

When they come with their baby home, you can find the postman dead on their doorstep.

 

 

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Doctors

In Canada, a lumberjack competition takes place

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 4:01 AM

In Canada, a lumberjack competition takes place.

Among the huge loggers is also a small Chinese. It works like the devil and win the competition.

At the presentation ceremony of the judges asked him curiously: "Tell me, where did you learn the felling?"
"In the Sahara."

"But there are no trees."

"Yes, now no more!"

 

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Job / Company / Office

The little boy to his father ...

by Rudolf Faix Monday, October 26, 2015 3:57 AM

The little boy to his father: "I do not want toys, I want a real Colt!"

"You get a child Colt!"
"But I want a real!"

"Stop it, who commands here? Me or you?"
"At the moment you ... but if I had a Colt ..."

 

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Kids

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