On a table lies a one hundred Dollar bill.

Around the table are sitting Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a fast and one slow official.

Who gets the hundred Dollar Note?

The slow official, since Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and fast officials are existing only in fairy tales.

Four students from the University of Sydney were so good in organic chemistry that they have so far passed all their tests, examinations and practicals in this semester with the highest rating. They were so sure to provide the final exam, so they decided to go the weekend before the test to Canberra, where some friends threw a party.
They amused themselves well.

After vigorous Celebrate slept all day Sunday and did not make it until Monday morning - the day of the exam - back to Sydney.

The four students told to the professor that they had a little research in Canberra in the archives of the Australian National University. They thought that they would be back soon enough, but on the way back they had a flat tire and no jack there. It has taken a long time to find someone which has been able to help. That is the reason why they arrived only now!

The professor thought about it and then allowed them to make up for the final exam the next day.
The students were incredibly relieved and happy.
They learned through the night, and the next day they came in time for the due date for the Professor.
The professor brought each student in another room, gave them the tasks and told them they should start.

The first task brought five points.
It was something simple about a radical reaction.
"Cool", covered all four students in their separate rooms, "this will be an easy test."

Each of them wrote down the answer and turned the sheet.

There has been written: "2. task (95 points): Which tire has been flat?"

The judge to the husband: "Your wife forgives and wants to try it again with you."

The man sighs and says: "Well, I accept the penalty."

Two people got arrested for the reason of one kilo hash. Due to their hitherto white vest the judge wants to let even show mercy for rule of law: "so ladies and gentlemen, today is Friday. You get a unique chance of me. You go out this weekend and convince young people for not taking drugs. On Monday yiu'll report to me and then we see what happens."

On the following Monday, both are available as agreed.
"So", the judge turns to his evil-doers, "what have you accomplished?"

The first responds: "I convinced 25 young people for not taking drugs again."
"What 25? That's employed so huge, how did you do it?"

"Easy. I drew a big circle, like this: O and a little like this: o. Then have I shown on the first circuit and said: 'look, this is your brain before you take drugs.' While I was on the smaller circle I continued: 'this is your brain after you have taken drugs.'"
The judge is totally enthusiastic: "This is great, sensational. I wonder why nobody else did have such idea until now."

The second defendant answered on the same question: "Mr. Chairman, I was able to convince 194 young people."
"194? Ridiculous. How did you do that?"

"Well, I have a small circle like this: o and a larger like this: O. Then have I shown on the small circle and said: 'This is your asshole before you were in jail ...'"

A company starts a new Exchange program. 4 employees are exchanged against 4 cannibals.

In welcoming the cannibals, the Chief says: "You can work here, earning money and can go out to dinner in our canteen. So let the other staff alone."

The cannibals vow to harass any fellow.

After four weeks, the boss comes back and says: "You work very well. We only miss the cleaning lady. Do you know what happened to her?"
"No", reply all cannibals and sweared to have nothing to do with the disappearance of the cleaning lady.

When the boss is away again the boss of the Cannibal asks: "Who of you monkeys has eaten the cleaning lady?"
The last logs back very meekly: "I have it been."

The boss says: "You idiot, we feed ourselves for four weeks of team leaders, organizers and other superiors so that nobody notices something and you moron you have eaten the cleaning lady ...!"

In religious education, the priest asks: "Who can tell me where does God live?"

Small Fritz reports proudly on his knowledge: "In the bathroom!"
"Why the bathroom?" the pastor asked amazed.

"Well, every morning knocks my father on the bathroom door and calls: my God, you're still there?"

After a bar tour two friends decide to take a last drink in the apartment.

In front of the door the one says: "Please be silent because my wife sleeps already".

Quietly they are entering the apartment. One goes into the kitchen and the other one takes a look into the bedroom.

Horrified, he goes into the kitchen and says: "Your wife is lying with another man in the bed!"

"Please be quiet, we have only two beers."

"Hello, Hugo, imagine, I'll be a father."

"And why are you making such a sad face?"

"Well, I have to tell it to my wife too."

Man calls to home: "Honey, Honey, pack your bags, I've won the lottery."

Then the woman: "Hurrah finally holiday wherever you go?"

"Never mind the main thing you're gone when I get home"