Four clergymen are after work sitting together.

"You know," says one, "we're really good friends. Perhaps we take this opportunity once again to speak about our problems."
All nod in agreement.

"Let me confide in you that I drink too much.", admits the first.
The other three sigh.

The second: "Since you, dear brother, are so honestly to us, I dare to confess that I indulging the passion for gambling. I was even haunted the desire to take money from the poor box.."
Again sigh the other three.

"Dear brothers, I am totally messed up, I have taken affection for a woman in my community - and she is even married.", the third says.
The other three sigh again.

Finally, the fourth should also express his biggest problem, but he still resists. The other three are talking to him well: "Don't worry. Your problem is in good hands with us We are concealed and do not tell it to anyone."

"Yeah, well, I do not know how to say it, but my problem is: I am a terrible gossiper and can not keep a secret for me ..."

A plumber has died and goes to heaven. He immediately begins to curse, because he was too young to die.

Peter takes his data and sits down at the heavenly terminal to search for the reasons for the early recall.

Then he asks the newly deceased: "How old are you, did you say?"

"Well, just 35!"

"No, my dear, after the hours that you have billed to your customers, you need to be 120 years old.".

When the father comes home, he is very scared.

He finds his charming daughter crying pitifully.

When he asked the reason, she says: "I got a marriage proposal today!"

The father laughs and replies, "That's no reason to cry. It is rather a reason to be happy!"

"No, no," said the daughter, "I would rather stay with Mommy!"

"Well," says the father, "Take her with you! ..."

Why are so many men enjoying a training on the treadmill?

In this case they have the hands free for beer and remote control.

The students of the second school year receive a worksheet. They circling all for which they are thankful.
Family members - father, mother, brother, sister - were also listed.

As students begin a girl is whispering with her neighbor: "For my brother, I can not be thankful. I do not have one."

"Make a circle," replied the friend, "you should be thankful for it! ..."

An atheist goes to hell.

He wonders. Everything beautiful. Beach, Sun, sea, bars, beautiful girl.

The devil greets him: "Welcome!"

The atheist is puzzled and strolls along the beach. There, he discovered a deep hole in the ground. Blazing flames burn screaming people.
Pure agony.

Horrified, he runs back to the devil and asks him what has to mean the hole and if he must also go in there.

The devil says: "No, my friend. The hole is only for Christians, who want it so!"

A drunken slurs at the bar to the bartender: "I was just unlucky in marriage. Twice I was married - my first wife died of mushroom poisoning, and my second to a fractured skull ...."

"That's horrible! How did that happen with your second wife?"

"She did not like to eat the mushrooms ..."

Just four weeks is the young couple married as Cornelia calls her mother and sobs. "We had our first quarrel"

"Just calm down child it happens from time to time in every marriage."

"Yes, but I do not know what to do with the corpse."

A 80-year-old man would like to sleep once again with his wife.

As he wants to get going straight, she says: "Wait, not without a condom!"

He answers puzzled: "Why, at your age you don't get more children!"

She: "But maybe salmonella from the old eggs!"

A woman wakes up in the middle of the night and notes that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and leaves the bedroom. He sits at the kitchen table in front of a cup of coffee - deep in thought ... stares only against the wall.

You can observe how it runs a tear from his eyes and he takes a swig of his coffee. "What's wrong, honey? Why are you sitting at this time in the kitchen?" she asks him.

"Do you remember when we had our first date 20 years ago? You were just 16!" he asks her.
"But yes!" she replies.

"Do you remember that your father caught us when we made love on the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember well that I will never forget."

"Remember also, as he holded his to my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or you walk for the next 20 years into prison!'?"
"Oh yeah!" she says

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "You know ... today I would have been dismissed!"