As God had created the Swiss ...

by Rudolf Faix Sunday, November 1, 2015 1:00 PM

As God had created the Swiss, the Swiss had grown him immediately to the heart.

So the Lord asked him: "My dear Swiss, for you what?"
The Swiss wanted beautiful mountains with lush green meadows and crystal clear mountain streams.

God fulfilled this wish him and asked again: "What do you want more?".
To the Swiss: "Now I wish healthy, happy cows, who give the best milk in the world on the willows".
God fulfilled this desire him, and the Swiss molk one of cows and had a glass of the wonderful good milk cost God.

And again, God asked: "What do you want more?"
"Two Swiss francs and fifty for the milk!"

 

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Swiss

The phone rings, a small boy picks up the phone

by Rudolf Faix Sunday, November 1, 2015 11:00 AM

The phone rings, a small boy picks up the phone and whispers: "Hello?"
Says a man: "I would like to talk your parents."
It whispers the boy: "That's just not possible they are in the bedroom."
The man: "Then I'll call later on again."

An hour later the phone rings again, the boy goes back to it, whispering: "Hello?"
The man: "It's me again, can I speak now your parents?"
The boy whispers, "You cannot do that, they are in the bathroom!"
The man says he'll call again later on.

Half an hour later, the phone rings, the boy answers it: "Hello?"
It is again the man who wants to talk to his parents again.
The boy whispered: "This is currently not possible. They are in the basement!"
Then the man shouts in exasperation: "Yes, damn it, what are they doing there?"

It whispers the boy: "They are searching for me!"

 

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Kids

A man stands in the bedroom and is packing his suit cases

by Rudolf Faix Sunday, November 1, 2015 9:00 AM

A man stands in the bedroom and is packing his suit cases.
The wife comes from grocery shopping home.

She: "What are you doing here?"
He: "I go to a tropical island, where I'll get 25 dollar for every time sex!"

The woman says: "Uhh, I like go there too, because I like to see how you can survive with 25 dollar a year!"

 

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Battle of the Sexes | Men

The doctor explains to the patient with a worried expression ...

by Rudolf Faix Sunday, November 1, 2015 7:00 AM

The doctor explains to the patient with a worried expression: "You absolutely must stop drinking, your last blood sample has evaporated, before I could analyze it!"

 

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Doctors

"You have to exercise more care in filling out the death certificate

by Rudolf Faix Sunday, November 1, 2015 5:00 AM

"You have to exercise more care in filling out the death certificate," the chief doctor warns the young assistant doctor,

"You have entered again your own name in the column 'Cause of death'."

 

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Doctors

An eighty year old man tells to his doctor

by Rudolf Faix Sunday, November 1, 2015 3:00 AM

An eighty year old man tells to his doctor that he wants to marry next week again.

The doctor says: "The beloved is beautiful, how old?"
"18 years young!", the old man replies.

"Uh-oh" says the doctor, "because you have to watch out - any activity in bed could mean the death!"

To the old man: "Well, if she dies, she just dies!"

 

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Doctors

The family sits at the St. Nicholas day at the dinner table

by Rudolf Faix Sunday, November 1, 2015 1:00 AM

The family sits at the St. Nicholas day at the dinner table.

Little Fritz says: "Have you heard? Santa Claus has sent a letter to all virgins in our city."

His big sister asks: 'So? What was written in it?"

"Why," asks little Fritz, "did you not get one?"

 

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Battle of the Sexes | Kids | Women

I don't know why you wear a bra ...

by Rudolf Faix Saturday, October 31, 2015 11:00 PM

Man: "I don't know why you wear a bra. You have nothing, what you could do inside."

Woman: "You're wearing panties too, or?"

 

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Battle of the Sexes

A third-rate magician and his parrot ...

by Rudolf Faix Saturday, October 31, 2015 9:00 PM

A third-rate magician and his parrot make the show program on a cruise ship.

The parrot had great success - he always told the audience where the various items that made disappear the "magician", are hidden.

"In the sleeves - hat - under the table", he croaked under jeering applause of the audience.

One day the ship is in distress, all passengers have to get into the lifeboats. Shortly thereafter, the ship sinks.

The parrot croaks: "The trick is new, now, tell me where did you hide the ship?"

 

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Job / Company / Office

The big boss for all cases has always an exquisite old French Cognac in his desk

by Rudolf Faix Saturday, October 31, 2015 7:00 PM

The big boss for all cases has always an exquisite old French Cognac in his desk. Although he almost never takes out the bottle, he must realize that the content over time is less and less. With a pencil, he marked on the label, how full the bottle is.

As he looks two days later, someone has wiped away the small line and stuck a note on the bottle: "No more marks please! It would be a pity to dilute the splendid Cognac with water".

 

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Boss

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